Everyday something horrible happens to me, whether its girls saying horrible things to me, or family problems, i cant go a day without remorse. I constantly feel like shit, i didnt think a girl like me could have handled this much without wanting to end my life.. Most of you wont read this, and the other half may read it, and tell me how much of an attention seeker you may think i am. Imagine if i posted this on facebook? i would get socially stabbed in the back and nobody would have remorse but to make fun of me, Im not beautiful, rich, popular, im me.. i try my hardest to hold things back, but it gets to a point where i cant pretend anymore.. Being in love sucks thats the first thing, loving somebody and watch them go for your bestfriend, is something that hurts me. Why cant people just let me be.. everywhere i go even when i leave the house im constantly getting threatened. I get called a slut, i get called every name under the sun, but it try to brush it off but there comes a time where i cant handle it.. i cry too much almost every night myself to sleep, I want to overdose on sleeping pills so i dont have to ever wake up.. Girls constantly like to talk shit behind my back, i dont know whether they are jealous? or just plain fucked in the head and want to ruin my life, I have too much on my mind, and i cant handle it anymore, i just cant pretend like i dont care when i do, i dont want to let people know they have gotten to me, but they have and i just cant do it, i dont see a smile on my face that is ever real, all i do is get used/pushed around & taken advantage of. Will there ever be a day when i can laugh and have friends? Cause i dont have any. none that i can trust, im ugly and i can admit i am, i just cant handle all of this on me i want to get the fuck out of here because i hate my life and im fucking over pretending.